One more night
by Sweetheart Geranium
Summary: Bad habits, we all have them. Edward's worst habit is Bella. o/s, lemons, language, AH. Written for Alverdine in the Secret Santa Fic Exchange 2012.


**(A/N) I know, I know - I made a promise I couldn't keep. I have been writing, but I haven't finished a single thing. But, when I saw that there was a Secret Santa Fic Exchange, I thought I'd give it a shoot.**

**This fic is inspired by several songs from the newest Maroon 5 album, and was written for Alverdine. I hope you liked it, Alverdine, and I hope whoever is reading this is enjoying this as well!  
**

**Likes: Canon; AH; AU  
Dislikes: Bella/Jacob; Renesmee pairings; crackfic.**

~OMN~

_I hate being alone Friday nights._

The TV is on, but I'm not watching. Restlessly I bounce my leg up and down, my itching fingers switches between drumming against my still leg and tugging at my hair. _I need a fucking cigarette._

Officially, I quit smoking two years ago but every time I'm alone, horny and can't get her out of my mind – I take one. It happens more often than I'd like to admit. Another bad thing she brings out of me. I know I can only blame myself, really, but it's too easy to blame it all on her.

_You're one fucked up son of a bitch, Edward Cullen._

I shake my head to clear it while drying my sweaty hands on my legs. Glancing at my phone.

_Not tonight_, I tell myself. _"You'll be back, Edward", _she replies in my head. _"It's only a matter of time." _

Bella and I have something you would call a destructive relationship. We're not even dating. On and off, and 100% physical. I'm not in love with her, but I'm head over fucking heels in lust with her. No one can make me feel like she does.

It's one of those relationships that have no future. Every time, I swear to myself that it'll be the last time, last relapse…but she knows very well that I will be back every time I leave. I _hate_ giving her the satisfaction of being right but my body literally aches for her, it craves her.

I can't quit her, like I can't quit those damn cigarettes.

…

We met at a bar and what started as a one night stand ended as an arrangement. I had needs, she had needs, and we discovered that we knew how to fulfill each others well. We were on the same page – simply sex and sex only. But as with any other drug, what started off as a thrill every once in a while, turned out to full on addiction. If we're only fucking, shouldn't it be easy to just leave? Well, that's what I thought too.

At one point, I wanted to settle down. Bella was not the person I wanted to settle with, like she didn't want to settle herself. As much as steamy, crazy sex with this vixen was, I wanted more. So after two years in this arrangement, I told Bella we couldn't see each other again. I was ready to have a stable relationship and develop it. Family, security and the whole thing.

"We'll see about that", she had replied and just smirked at me. I stopped answering her calls and texts when I my mother introduced me to her friend's daughter, Kate.

Kate was…an amazing woman. She had just finished Master degree in Psychology and was a very intelligent woman. We had an instant connection and we shared a lot of interests. Simply put, we were incredibly compatible. A perfect match, on paper.

Things with Kate were pretty easy. Sometimes I felt like it maybe was _too_ easy, but I shrugged it off. We fell into a natural pattern, our relation leveled in a steady pace and after a year of dating, she moved in with me.

I believe I loved Kate, I really do. But after she moved in, that was when I couldn't suppress the feeling that something was…missing.

One night, we went out clubbing. Kate had noticed that I haven't really been myself the last couple of weeks and this was an attempt to cheer me up. She thought it was work and that I needed to relax, but I just couldn't find peace in my everyday life.

After I refused a dance, claiming I wasn't in the mood, Kate huffed and excused herself to the ladies room.

That's when I heard the painfully familiar laughter.

I spun around and was met by the sight of a temptress dressed in a short, cream colored dress. Her red lips were turned into a smirk and her smoky eyes were sparkling with mischief.

"Missed me, sugar?" she winked and took a sip of her drink, never taking her eyes off me.

"Bella", I replied as my mind spun and tried to keep up with the signals my body kept giving.

_I want her, but I love Kate, and I hate myself, and I need Bella, and…_

"Cute one, your girl." She eyed me from the corner of her eye before setting her finished drink down.

I didn't know what to say.

"Hope I hear from you soon." With that she left me for the dance floor.

Kate returned and introduced me to a childhood friend of hers but I was too absentminded to remember her name. I politely asked her if she wanted a drink and she declined before claiming she loved the song.

I told the girls to have fun, and Kate left with her friend, but not before giving me the we-need-to-talk look. I was beyond caring at that point and I beat myself up for that, because damn it, this is the women I'm currently spending my life with. I love her, and I don't even care that I hurt her. I don't care that I might lose her.

Ordering a drink for myself, something strong and I let my eyes wander the dance floor. They locked like magnets with a set of eyes that fueled my passion and rage.

Bella showed off her signature smirk when she saw me watching. She closed her eyes and lost herself to the music, seductively without even trying. There was nothing shameless about the way she danced, but I was mesmerized. For the rest of the night, I watched her on the dance floor. And I knew she danced for me.

I try to tell myself that I did everything I could to make it work with Kate, but after seeing Bella that night I turned even more distant and a month later, Kate left me.

It took three days for me to call Bella and we were back on the same track.

…

After sitting like I have ADD for a while I get up, search the pocket of my jacket and find a lone cigarette and a lighter.

I curse myself but at this point, I don't even care anymore. I open the window, light the cancer stick, and inhale the poisonous, but oh so welcome nicotine and exhale into the cold December air.

It's comforting, it's calming…but it's not enough. As the cigarette shrinks, I keep glancing at my phone. When I finally put the cig out, I already know how this night is going to end.

I stroke the keyboard, letting my fingers dance over the letters.

_Free tonight? - E_

I let out a sigh as I press send. It doesn't take long before a chime signalizes a reply.

_What did you have in mind? ;) -B_

_My place, anything -E_

_I'll be there in 30 :* -B_

I take a quick shower, not caring to get dressed afterwards but wrapping a towel around my hips.

And just in time, my doorbell rings. I unlock the door and open, and before she can say anything I drag her inside and push her against the door.

"Hello there, tiger", she chuckles.

"Shut the fuck up", I murmur and silence her with my lips. I can feel her smile and it makes me furious. She has no right to do this to me.

She's wearing a tiny little dress in red, sinful as fuck. My hand goes up her thigh, earning a little moan.

"Jesus fucking Christ", I breathe. These primal feelings are taking over and I lose myself to this passion when I thrust two fingers inside her.

"Edward", she whimpers and throws her head back. Her hands yank the towel from my hips and quickly find me hard and waiting.

Roughly, I spin her around. "Hands on the door, spread your legs", I say in a low voice and she's quick to obey as I am quick to bury myself in her.

I fuck her hard against the door and after we both climax, I throw her over my shoulder and take her to the bedroom.

I'm not in control over myself. I just do and she takes it.

…

Usually, I always fall asleep before her. Sometimes I wonder if she sleeps at all, since she's always gone when I wake up.

This time though, sleep can't find me and thoughts haunt me. The rage has settled and common sense kicks in.

Will I have to move to keep coming back to Bella? Are this…thing between us going to ruin every relationship I have? Or was it just Kate that wasn't right for me?

Is Bella going to settle? I know she seems far away from it, but does she want it? I never thought of it that way, but she can't keep up this forever.

This woman…I've spent so much time hating and not before tonight have I thought of things from her point of view. And I think I want to give myself some answers.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I ask stupidly. Or I hope it's a stupid question.

She snorts. "Now it's the time to ask. Maybe you should've thought about it before."

I should have. But I never think when it comes to Bella.

"Answer me", I demand. Even though I can't find sleep I'm totally spent and in no mood to play any fucking games with her. I want answers, and I hope they can bring me some sort of sense and peace.

Glancing at her, I see her rolling her eyes. "No, of course not."

"Why not?"

Furrowing her brows she turns her head towards me. "What brought you on this?"

I don't even know. "Just never quite…understood you."

"Thought we understood each other quite perfectly", she replies, raising her eyebrows.

When she sees I'm still looking at her, waiting for a better answer, she shrugs and eyes me daringly. "Love is for children. Wouldn't want some poor man getting his hopes up, wouldn't we?"

Love is for _children_? "You can't be serious." I study her face and for the first time, though I can't see underneath it, I see it now. In this very moment, I realize the cocky face with sparkling eyes and smirking smile is a mask.

"Don't you believe me?" Mask on. _I would believe you if you had asked me four hours ago, but I don't believe you anymore._

I don't tell her that. Instead I ask her, "Are you going to settle some time?"

"Are you?" she shoots back at me. Always playing, shield up. Bouncing every question that might go too deep. Always laying on thick with the fake mask, so we can't see.

She's hiding.

"I plan on it", I tell her truthfully. "I was. Which is why it's stupid that we keep on doing this."

Keeping her charade up, she laughs in my face. "You're the one who keeps coming back."

"Are you fucking someone else?" I ask, but what I really ask is _'Are you doing this to someone else?'._

Her mask falters a little but she recovers quickly. "I have…encounters. Nothing like you and I have though."

"You're a slut", I blurt out, my filter obviously not working. Somehow, I don't feel like I need to justify my slip.

She laughs. "I have needs." I feel her move under the cover, her hand touching my chest as she closes the distance between us and puts her lips to my ear. "But you like it."

"You're fucked up", I mutter, mostly to myself.

She snorts and lets her head fall back on her pillow. "Yeah. I am one fucked up motherfucker."

I turn my head to look at her and for the first time, I see someone else in her eyes. Vulnerability. Sadness.

"Bella."

She looks at me and the look is gone. Back is the strong girl I've gotten to know, but I know what I saw.

I tell myself '_One more night'_ but I like every other time that's far from the truth. Only, unlike every other night, this feels different.


End file.
